Wordless Wednesday - The Present

Linking up with My Little Drummer Boys today.

Wordless Wednesday - Mr Happy

Joining up this Wednesday with Little Drummer Boys.

Musings on working from home

I'm so lucky to be able to work from home while my children are little.

I've been a work from home mum since our second child was born nearly six years ago. My four-day weekly income was only slightly more than the cost of putting two children into formal childcare and we didn't have anyone who could help us out with free child minding a day or two a week.

So I quit my job, except for two days each week which I've devoted to freelance writing, editing and proofreading plus a few basketloads of laundry.

I've always just done enough work to keep my hand in and found it frustrating to have lots of writing and business ideas and never sufficient time or energy, once two more little babies joined us, to implement them.

At other times I've wanted to throw the paid work towel in altogether and simply be the best mum and domestic goddess I could be. I found real satisfaction in making sure we all ate well, had a clean and tidy house, and filled our days with worthwhile activities.

Instead of focussing on making more money to help ends meet, I researched and trialled ways for us to save more money. But I could never stop paid work altogether, and never wanted to.

Now that the children are all a little bit older I'm feeling very glad that I've continued to keep some kind of professional life puttering along while having babies.

I have something of a balance just at the moment. I have enough work to bring in a decent part time income and have plenty of opportunities to enjoy my children and do other things I want to do.

My husband is very supportive, so if I have a writing deadline or need to concentrate on something he'll take charge of the kids for as long as I need the space.

Of course it doesn't all go perfectly well, doing this working mum from home thing. Far from it.

But I know I'm very blessed.

Life is good.

The Daddy Difference - how his way is good for the kids

Ever been frustrated by the differences in your parenting styles? I've written an article for a Father's Day edition of CathFamily e-news about involved fathering and some benefits of Dad's way of doing things.

Here's an excerpt:

A recent study (as reported in the Wall Street Journal) on the impact of involved fathering on children’s development found that fathers are more likely than mothers to engage in rough and tumble physical play, and more likely to tease their children.

They are most likely to startle them in play, by jumping out and surprising them for example.

All of this is thought to foster their children’s independence, self-confidence, and resilience.

For the whole article see here.

How I got paid for volunteering

Ah, did you think I meant money? Of course not.

It was better than money.

My husband and I just spent the weekend helping to run a pre-marriage course for engaged couples. It included pretty much every aspect of their hopes and dreams for their lives together and covered things from sex to budgeting to resolving arguments fairly.

We do this a couple of times a year and it is volunteer work. I'm often a bit anxious in the week before, not about the weekend so much but organising the babysitting arrangements and getting the house and things in order beforehand.

But once I get into the car with my husband and we head out to the conference centre, all that is forgotten. I get to leave my normal life for a while and become immersed in the life of a typical soon-to-be-wed couple; their hopefulness, their excitement, their plans, their frustrations, their questions, and their own wisdom about relationships and life.

We reflect together. Mostly we hope together, and hope is such a powerful thing.

At the end of the weekend we wish them well and soon forget most of their faces and names, but some we remember. Some are real characters and I'll probably remember them for ever.

Some love stories really stand out. Like the couple who met speed-dating. Or the teacher who fell in love with the single parent of one of her pupils.

I always come away a little bit refreshed, and a little more appreciative of my own husband, my own ever-unfolding love story.

I think the best kinds of work are often not paid. Do you volunteer sometimes? Is there some kind of volunteer work you always meant to get around to trying out but never did?

Here are what I think are some the main benefits of volunteering:

• You gain a sense of belonging to and the satisfaction of helping a good cause
• You meet people with similar interests, make new friends
• You see life from different perspectives and meet people you wouldn't normally come across in your regular daily life
• You learn new skills, some which may assist you in your paid work
• You gain a greater appreciation for what you have in your own life

Volunteering has certainly enriched my life. I think I will always do something or other in the community for what I get out of it as much as for what I have to give.

10 things my husband has taught me about chilling out

1. That occasionally it's ok if I'm home during the day to turn on the TV and watch whatever movie that happens to be on.

2. I can get a lie-in on a Saturday morning even if the children hop into bed with us. All I have to do is ask them what they would like a picture of on his or her back and doodle away with my finger. Very little effort required and it keeps them quiet and still for ages as they try to 'feel' the fairy castle or racing car I'm drawing for them.

3. That the floor doesn't need to be swept every day or washed every week if I feel too sick or tired to do it.

4. (Related to 3) The job the kids or husband does to sweep or clean the floor is good enough for now.

5. My friends and family will still love me if I don't have the perfect, well-thought-out present ready for them on their actual birthday.

6. That if a toddler wants nothing but a tin of tuna for dinner or rice cakes and jam, that is acceptable fare.

7. It's ok when hosting a dinner or barbeque to have other people bring most of the food if they want to.

8. I don't have to have everything I want and think I need, or do everything I want and think I need to do all right away.

9. Having a budget does not mean you can't enjoy little luxuries once in a while, or even more often if you think you need a pick-me-up. (For me that means outings, nice food, or books.)

10. A glass of wine most days is acceptable.

And a bonus one: That feeding, dressing, playing with and generally looking after the children, even if I get nothing on my to-do list done, is a valuable use of a day. (Actually, I haven't fully learnt that one yet, but I am trying.)

Gotta love that man. What do you do to give yourself a break once in a while, or every day, that you never used to do before?

Seven things for mummy's sick days

Having the flu is awful at any time, right? Having the flu when you're responsible for young children, and a baby, is really tough.

No one has escaped being sick in our family this winter and I'm in my third week of feeling horrible at the moment, I think, with sinusitis and conjuctivitis - secondary infections after the flu.

Man it's making it a challenge to choose happiness this winter!

I thought I'd share a few things I'm doing this time to manage the kids and the housework when all I really want to do was crawl back into bed for the day.

I give myself permission to take it easy

I've been going to bed when the children do. Even if it's 7.30 or 8pm. It's hard to give up that 'to myself time' in the evenings but it's worth it if it means getting better in a week instead of dragging this out for another month.

There's a lot of stuff I want to do at the moment but I'm  consoling yourself with the thought that I'll do a much better job of it when I'm feeling my energetic self again.

I figure if nothing else this is a good time to reflect on where I get my feeling sense of self-worth. Is it from doing all the things I usually do - being the supermum - or is it more about being a certain type of person in easy times and hard times?

Personally I think it's more important who you are, rather than what you do. So when I'm sick and I can't do stuff I don't panic too much about feeling like a useless person.

Do the essential jobs only

I'm over just popping painkillers or flu tablets from the supermarket and soldiering on. That's the way to get more run down, not the way to get better as quickly as possible.

Feeding and bathing myself and the kids, washing the dishes at least in the evening and doing a load of laundry only if absolutely necessary - that's all I've been keeping on top of.

The rest I've let slide.  Also, young children and babies don't need a bath every day. When my energy's low every second day is fine, with a little wipe of their bottoms with a clean soapy cloth on in-between days.

I figure if the kids eat cheese sandwiches or reheated frozen meals for dinner for a week, and my friend's baby daughter gets her birthday present late because I didn't hit the shops while I was sick, it isn't the end of the world.

I also put off as much paid work as I could, only meeting essential deadlines.

Accept help

I let my husband take carer's week for a few days in the second week so I could go to bed when I wanted.

Yesterday I took all the children to my dad's place and had a nap while they were entertained by my 12-year-old sister. It helped me a lot in getting through the day.

Sometimes I give the kids new toys from the cupboard where I hoard excess presents from last Christmas or birthdays. And I usually put a movie on, or episodes of their current favourite show, for them as well. At the moment it's Inspector Gadget.

Step up my own personal hygiene

I feel like a germ-making factory so I'm keeping some antibacterial gel on the kitchen counter and using it liberally, when preparing food, every time I blow my nose etc. I find it's impossible sometimes with four small children to take the time to go and wash and thorougly dry my hands every time I need to. Using the gel is much faster.

Increase my fluid intake

I'm drinking a glass of water or herbal tea every hour or so. Our lemon tree got raided for the sake of comforting hot lemon and honey drinks I'm enjoying.

Chicken soup is said to have anti-inflammatory properties but we can't be bothered making it. My standby is the local Vietamese takeaway for their truly awesome beef Pho, fragrant with fresh herbs and lemon - it's almost worth being sick for the amazing lift it gives me when I really need it!

Use whatever medicines or natural remedies I can to make myself feel better

I don't know why but I have a bad habit of just toughing it out when I'm sick, and not taking anything unless I feel really, really bad. But I've decided this time that that's just silly. All it does is make me an unpleasant person to live with.

This time I've used saline nasal spray for my blocked nose, an antihistamine when it was dripping, an asthma inhaler for a tight chest, over the counter eye drops and paracetamol. Only today I've started a course of antibiotics which is safe for use while breastfeeding.

Appreciate feeling well

When I feel better again, I'm going to make the most of it!

I'm determined to fully appreciate feeling well again, eating healthily and getting some exercise in every day, to bump up my immune system a bit. And put it in my calendar to go and get the flu shot next year -  something I neglected to do this year.

This time of being sick hasn't been a complete write-off for me. I had some lovely thoughts about spiritual aspects of feeling unwell. I wrote about them here.

That's all for today, I'm off to make another cup of tea.

What do you do to help yourself through sick days? Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

M

Bella Magazine - a glossy mag to inspire young women

I recently heard about this new Australian magazine for teenage girls which aims to provide an alternative to "the sexed-up modern magazines like Cosmo and Dolly".

Bella - beautiful girl - is the latest girls’ magazine for 13 to 19 year olds and was launched earlier this year.

I haven't seen a copy yet, but I hear that it's good. A high-quality glossy mag similar to its mainstream counterparts. But since it's not-for-profit the content isn't driven by advertisers, which means it can maintain its editorial integrity.

The magazine, independently published in Queensland, covers music, fashion, relationships and other issues interesting to young women.

It wants to be a catalyst to help "reverse the tide of self-damaging attitudes and trends imposed upon our young women". And it wants to inspire young women to make a difference in their communities and in the world.

That means you won't find headlines like this in Bella Magazine:

From Dolly

Like hot guys more than hot dinners?
10 steps to getting a boyfriend

From Cosmo

Taking the morning after pill
The bikini bootcamp

From Girlfriend

Take our sealed section survey

The emphasis on sex, image, and celebrities in these mainstream magazines aimed at teens and young women is really full-on. I challenge anyone who tries to kid themselves that 12 year old girls, or younger, are reading and absorbing this stuff.

I'm not against the Cosmos and Girlfriends per se. I'm just so sick of there not being alternatives, especially for girls and young women who are well past the Barbie magazine stage.

I'll be subscribing to Bella and testing it out on a few teenager girls to see if it actually engages their interest, because I think to be effective it can't be boring.

Then if it's as good as it seems I'll be helping it out as much as I can.

The secret to having the best of everything

It's true, I can tell you the secret to having the best of everything. Actually, there are two parts to this secret:

Lower your expectations. Be happy with what you have.

Easy huh? Bet you already knew this.

Me too. But actually it's taken me a while to really get the knack of it, and I'm not sure I'm there yet.

But I can tell you I've had the best Mother's Day this year and a big reason is because I did just this.

In the lead-up I was already mentally preparing myself to see the day as an opportunity to hang out with my own mum, and mother-in-law, and make them happy by taking the kids over. The kids would have fun too, as they love visiting their grandparents.

In the past I've seen it as a pain having to drag the kids from place to place in order to make our mothers happy and all I would get at the end of it were three overtired, screaming, bratty children. Happy Mothers' Day, yeah.

Well, I was going to see the positive side this time. Because as Brenda at MummyTime quipped recently, being negative "is just too damn depressing".

I had no expectations for anything for myself, apart from a small gift coming from my eldest daughter's school Mothers' Day stall (which I had paid for), and a painting from my 4-year-old that she had done at preschool.

I just reminded my husband that the girls would be wanting to make breakfast for me as that's what the teachers at school had been telling them to do. I wouldn't be getting a lie-in, as my two-year-old always wants me up at the crack of dawn. I imagined he'd let them butter my toast and make my tea.

So I thought Mothers' Day would be pretty much like most of our Sundays, and I love those so I was going to be happy either way.

Well, in the end I got quite pampered with lovely lie-in, breakfast in bed, flowers, drawings, cards, and a number of gifts (including make-up, jewellery and a nice tablecloth).

I still don't know how my husband kept three excited children under seven quiet while they helped him heat my croissant, mix berries into yoghurt and museli, make my coffee, pour my juice, write a card and arrange flowers on my plate. While I was waiting, I fell back to sleep. Unexpected bliss.

I didn't have to prepare any meals for anyone, bath the kids, or do any of my regular daily tasks. I drank half a glass of wine in the autumn sunshine while watching the girls learn to play cricket from their uncle, and they were so tired by days' end that they all fell asleep early.

It was a total day off, and much more than I was expecting. It was the best!

This is a much better way of being, for me at least. I didn't even want to read about what other mums were doing on Sunday (sorry bloggy mother friends).

I have to be careful of falling back into the temptation of comparing myself to others, comparing what I've got generally to what the people in my suburb, or among my friends have, etc.

Because even if I could count my blessings comparatively one day, on the very next I'd see that someone else has it much easier, better, or more exciting, than me. And then I'd be dissatisfied with my lot. And then guilty because I felt ungrateful for what I have, and mean for not being happy for others.

And that angsty, guilty, jealousy, disappointy feeling - well, I've just had enough of it thank you. No more for me. While I have the option of choosing happiness you bet that's what I'm going to take.

Image: Flowers from my lovely ones, picked from the garden. And an extra treat I claimed for myself!

A cure for sibling rivalry

A

We're at the end of two weeks of school holidays and on the days my two youngest have been in day care I've enjoyed spending some rare one-on-one time with my big girl. She's just turned six and I'm starting to think that this might turn out to be my new favourite age.

The two of us have been going to the cafe for smoothies, scootering around the city's Botannical Gardens, sharing fish and chips at the beach, getting our hair cut and visiting friends. She's such great company.

The other day she sat on my lap, put her arms around me and gazing at me with her shining dark eyes said, "Who is your best person in the whole world mummy?"

Oh, how I would have loved to be able to look in her eyes and say it was her. But I couldn't. What about her sister and brother? My husband? My God?

"In the WHOLE world? Can you narrow it down a little?" I stalled.

"Well you're my best person in the whole world," she said, and we hugged and of course I told her that I loved her very much. She was happy, so that was cool. Phew!

I notice that since we've been spending this time together she's been playing a LOT more nicely with her younger sister. She must feel more assured of my love and her value to the family, so there's less need for the petty jealousy stuff.

Needless to say mummy-daughter dates will definitely be a more regular thing even after school goes back next week.

The nest

I found this precious thing the day after a storm about a week ago. It'd been knocked out of a tree near my daughter's school.

It looked unused, there weren't any feathers stuck it, or any eggs or feathers on the ground around, so I figured it was a gift and I could keep it.

"She made it out of all these little twigs Mummy," my eldest daughter marvelled when I showed it to her. "Did she use her spit to make them stick together?" She's as amazed as I am at its ingenious construction, and the way it's both so strong and so very fragile.

We imagined the little mother bird industriously selecting small, flexible twigs, patiently teasing bits of shimmery gold ribbon and blue cloth to help make the nest comfy. Perhaps she was already working on a new nest to replace the one she lost in the storm, so she could lay her eggs.

This nest (so petite, maybe a sparrow's?) sits on the bookcase in my bedroom, along with a handful of my favourite photos and mementos. It gives me a little lift every time I see it. There's something about it that speaks to my mind and soul at the moment.

Maybe that's because I have a little something like this:

living inside me. Thriving and growing stronger, and yet far too fragile to meet the world for another five months or so, when Spring arrives.

Twenty week foetus image: About.com

Love at work at home

I wanted to write a fabulous post for anyone dropping by today, especially for FlogYoBlog Friday.

Had a few plans for today. Some work calls to make, some emails to reply to.

Also hoped to catch up with a friend at our local park for a picnic while the kids played on the new equipment.

Then I found out that my daughter tested positive for dust mite allergy, so I'm spending the day washing bedding and cleaning like a fiend instead.

(In between cooking eggs, making toast, heating soup, looking for chocolate, washing small hands of said chocolate, getting cold drinks etc. etc.)

Ah love, the things it makes you do.

Lucky the weather's in my favour today. Weekend's around the corner, have a good one.

To join FlogYoBlog Friday and check out some great, mostly women, mostly mothers' blogs, scroll down a little to the links on the right.

Image: nationaal archief

Gratitude

This is something I've been struggling with lately.

Although I have pretty much everything I could wish for.

I have great health, live in a beautiful country, am happily married. I'm mother to three lovely small children and have good family and friends. I have interesting work as well.

Sure, not everything is the way I would like it to be, but hey, that's life. I have it pretty good.

So when I'm feeling as discombobulated (for want of a better word) as I have the past few weeks, my Catholic guilt kicks in and tells me I should be grateful for all that I have and all the promise that I know the future holds. I should be 'counting my blessings'.

Count your blessings.

I really don't like that phrase, the way it sounds like an imperative in my head. It makes me feel small and petulant, because I know I should do it, but what if I don't feel like it?

But now I think there's something shifting in me. Maybe it's this glorious autumn weather.

Maybe it's reading about tragic situations other people are going through.

Maybe it's the phone call from my friend, inviting herself to dinner tomorrow night.

Maybe it's the way my little boy laughed until he was breathless when I blew raspberries on his stomach.

I don't know why, because today is no different to any other day, and tomorrow I might be back to a little bit grumpy. But right now, I am grateful.

Young children and horror movie posters?

Pic: http://freeimages.co.uk

I'm thinking they don't, or at least shouldn't, mix.

I saw a poster for a remake of the horror movie The Last House on the Left last week. Normally that would have been no big deal. But I've been feeling a little more sensitive lately about my kids seeing images suggesting sex or violence.

The poster for the R rated movie which they had chosen to put up and the position they chose for it - well it really got me thinking about how much and what kinds of things I'm willing to put up with without voicing an objection.

I wanted to link to the image from here but I could only find tamer versions of it on the Net ie. without a bloodied female body in the foreground.

I wrote about it in my most recently published column.

What kids see

My daughter rushed up while I was sweeping the leaves from the front porch today, and I tried to shoo her away, thinking she was going to mess up my neat little pile. "No, mum," she said excitedly, "look, it's a heart!".

I don't know why these leaves are falling in spring. But I'm just so glad that warmer weather is here. Today was a balmy 31 degrees, and it ended with a thunderstorm. Instead of watching a DVD, the children watched for ages the rain and lightening from the living room window.

We spent last weekend entertaining friends, both Saturday night and Sunday. At the moment I'm in a nice state of having days which are fully occupied but which allow me to go at a reasonable pace.

I'm feeding and playing and reading with the children, taking care of the household needs; I don't have much work on, just finishing off a newsletter for L'Arche, keeping up with my weekly column and chasing up outstanding invoices. I have a few friends coming over on Thursday. I think I should be feeling relaxed but I actually feel restless.

Last week I reread the biography of Fr Chris Riley, the founder and head of Youth Off The Streets. He has devoted his life to helping street kids and other disadvantaged children, has the support of political, corporate and other leaders, and has been nominated for the Australian of the Year more than once.

His is an inspiring story, but basically it's a story about a person wanting to give their whole life for others, wanting to love people who otherwise would not be loved. Well, isn't family life like that too? Isn't that what marrying someone and then being a mother or a father to someone is all about?

Motherhood is not glamourous or particularly exciting most of the time, but I hope to keep seeing the heart of what I do every day. Especially when I have a broom in hand (which is often).

Our spring plans for beaches, barbies and Floriade

Spring is here! Not officially for a few more days of course, but there's no ignoring that it's here nonetheless.

The mornings are warmer, wattle trees are blooming their fuzzy little pom poms of colour, and the August winds hurry delicious scents of jasmine and sweet peas along the streets from people's front gardens.

The temperature is in the 20s today, and it's glorious! (Out of the wind that is).

I feel as though I'm coming alive again. I found the last couple of weeks in this last month of winter quite hard for a couple of reasons.

We feel as though we've been constantly working, and we basically have, including evenings and weekends on a project (that I'll blog about next week) which is nearly over.

Added to that the unrelenting cold has been getting to me, my lack of a fabulous coat has really been getting to me, and my increasingly annoying PMS last week topped it all off nicely.

But now just around the corner, we see time for rest, for playing with the kids at the beach, for having friends over for barbeques, and even for going on a holiday.

My husband has a work conference in Canberra and it happens to coincide with the Spring school holidays and the annual Floriade exhibition, so we figure, cheap holiday, why not?

So much of the pleasure of a holiday, even a little one like the one we hope to take, is in planning and looking forward to it.

A few days of freedom from work and other responsibilites, picnicking among the gardens at the floral showcase which is Floriade, catching up with friends, taking a boat ride on Lake Burley Griffin, visiting Black Tower.

Ah, it's going to be great.

Any tips for the three-hour car ride with three kids under six though? Must we succumb to getting a portable DVD player?

Because I know they're useful on long drives and we could borrow one, no problem, but I'd rather not get in the habit of relying on one.

On the other hand neither do I want to play 500 rounds of 'I Spy'!

Is PMS worse after having children?

Sorry guys, this is a women-only post. You wouldn't be interested, trust me.

I have been wondering if there was any evidence that PMS symptoms can worsen once you've had a few children. I've done a little research on symptoms and treatments, and summarised the best I found here.

In my case, ever since my cycle resumed after baby number three, that time of the month has been starkly evident - much more than ever before.

Before I had this gorgeous boy of mine I noticed almost nothing. But since having him, this is what I've had:

• Lots of bloating - to the point that my dad, with one look at me, asked if I was pregnant again! (Tact is not one of his strong points, but at least you can count on him to tell it like he sees it.)
• Moodiness - more like full-on depression and edgyness lasting around three days. I was feeling awful the last few days and fighting back tears most of yesterday, and today, guess what?
• Pain - not so much this time, but two whole days (!) of abdominal cramps the two previous months.

The black mood is the worst. The rest I can handle, no worries at all.
But this horrible, heavy, woe-is-me, can't-be-bothered to wash a dish or pick up the phone to call a friend-mood is the awfulest of awful.

I tell myself that there is no reason to feel this way; nothing particularly bad has happened, it is probably the hormones. It makes little difference.

I had to fight back the urge to call my husband and beg him to come home by four o'clock in the afternoon.
It even crossed my mind to wonder if post-natal depression can come 16 months after the event!
Three days of that is bad enough. To anyone who lives with this all the time - my heart goes out to you.
Today, all the colour is back in the world for me. And I had a thought; what if I'm thinking of it the wrong way?
What if my PMS has always been the same; it's just that I'm a lot happier with my lot in life than ever before, so the difference is a lot more marked?
Any suggestions? Anecdotal evidence that PMS, or the experience of it, is better or worse after having kids?

People watching at the zoo

Photo credit: jennifrog

I love Taronga Zoo. I took my two youngest children there last week.

It’s like a little piece of Australian bush in the city except that you can also find zebras, lions, giraffes and elephants, turkey and hawks and hundreds of other wonderful creatures there which you can't find in the bush or the outback. Hopefully not anyway.

You get spectacular and unique views of our gorgeous harbour and cityscape. The Concert Garden is always beautiful.

And there is Luk Chai, a new, playful little elephant calf there, the first born in Australia. And cheeky chimps. And sleek, muscular snakes, possums and wombats and little monkeys that dangle from the trees almost over people’s heads.

(I could go on but I’m reminded here of the fantastic zoo description in The Life of Pi, and so I’d better stop before I embarrass myself any more.)

Neither of the littlies had ever been before. And it was the two of them, more than the zoo's residents, I watched and was entertained by.

I was pretty confident Hannah would love it (you can never be too sure with kids) but my big surprise was that I didn’t’ expect little Joey would enjoy himself as much as he did.

He wasn’t content to stay in his stroller when I lifted his sister to peer over the enclosure rails; he really wanted to see all the animals too.

He exclaimed over the peaceful giraffes and the new baby elephant, he cooed at the rabbits and guinea pigs, and he ran his eager hands along the rugged stone walls which graced some of the pathways.

Most of the larger animals are in enclosures which are designed to approximate their natural environment as much as possible.

But we got to see many up close. In some parts, such as the Wild Australia section there are really large enclosures for people to walk through and get up close to animals such as wallabies, kangaroos and a huge variety of birds from humble budgerigars to huge emus.

Hannah was keen to see kangaroos, koalas and rabbits, and so I made sure we saw them at the end so she was content go home. We spent two and half hours there, walking up and down inclines for much of it.

"My legs are getting sore, mummy!" She cheerfully exclaimed a couple of times as she stamped up particularly steep bits. She is such a little trooper.

I had left my camera at home, and in the excitement about getting Hannah to see the animals, after a long drive and queuing to get in, I didn’t even think of ducking into the souvenir shop near the entrance to get a disposable camera.

So I have to commit to memory the one image I really want to remember – her expression when she got her first glimpse of the first large animals, the giraffes, up close.

At least it's not so hard to engrave that little, dreamily expectant, shiny-eyed half smile on my heart.

A trip to the zoo is obviously a learning experience much as a fun one. But then any outing with my children is learning experience, for them and for me.

I usually find that they are capable of doing much more than I have given them credit for or expected them to be able to cope with.

Bicentennial Park and the Royal Botanic Gardens

We took the kids to a big local park yesterday to meet up with friends and have a picnic. It was a gorgeously sunny mid-winter's day.


Bicentennial Park was created in Homebush, a western suburb of Sydney only 30 years ago, when Australia celebrated its bicentenary in 1988. It's a natural heritage site, and a large part of its 100 hectares is a protected wetland ecosystem.

It also has a little lake, some modern water features, a memorial tower you can climb to look over the park and see the city views, 8kms of pathways for walkers and cyclists, tranquil gardens, a cafe and two children's playgrounds. It's popular with cyclists and families and our kids could spend all day there and not tire of it.




We watched the ducks, cranes, sea gulls, pelicans and swans around the lake, then we noticed several enormous, sinuous, finely spotted eels, gliding between the water grasses right in front of us.

They would have been a good 15cms in width, and around a full metre long. They must be used to being fed by park visitors, because they kept swimming close to where we stood on the wooden platform, their little 'noses' nearly breaking the water's surface just below our feet.

Today was even hotter, and we packed up our picnic lunches again. This time we went to the Royal Botanic Gardens in the middle of the city, and met another friend.

He didn't tell us his name, but he seemed to want us to look at something interesting over the other side of Elizabeth St.

The only notable wildlife we saw today were hundreds of grey-headed flying foxes. Although they are in plague proportions and are destroying parts of the magnificent 200-year old gardens, they are a protected native species and can't be culled. Last summer they estimated that 22,000 of them were living in the heritage-listed gardens.

The Botanic Gardens Trust wants to use noise disturbance (basically playing loud music at key times of the day) to make the bats relocate from the gardens to less sensitive parts of Sydney. Apparently a similar program in Melbourne has been successful.

Can't say I'll miss them. I'm used to seeing the little fellas, but when they are hanging upside down in clumps of hundreds in every tree you pass under, it is slightly creepy.

Doing what I love vs loving what I do

For two days everyone has been sick with the flu at our place, except for me. Monday was great, the house was quiet because everyone was sleeping, and I could do what I love doing when I'm at home on my own.

I did a little cleaning (loving the fact that I could do it uninterrupted and things stayed clean), I did a lot of reading, a little writing, and I called up some friends for a chat and to postpone this week's school holiday plans until next week. Pretty much a perfect day at home.

But today, though they are still sick, they are all just that little bit better. Better enough to want hot honey and lemon drinks made, heat packs warmed up, meals brought, DVDs played, stories read, cuddles given, and trips made to the chemist for more paracetamol.

So I couldn't do whatever I pleased today. But I loved what I did.