Friday, March 25, 2011

Why a (lovely) blogging conference made me feel ashamed

I bought my ticket to the first Australian bloggers' conference as a birthday treat for myself, months before the event. I wasn't updating my blog much, but at least I kept up reasonably well, for me, with reading and commenting on other people's.

But in those months between buying the ticket and actually going, I got so busy with

the children and the baby,

Christmas and New Year,

with going back to school and one starting kindy,

with writing my column,

with birthdays and then, more lately, with hospital and doctors' visits,

that I decided even reading and commenting on my handful of favourite blogs could drop off my priority list.

I almost didn't go the conference, and I'm glad I did because it reminded me that blogging is essentially all about people and relationships. And the best blogging is about real people being authentic and connecting with others.

It reminded me that if I write something, it should never just be for me, for my own self-expression. It should always, at least a little bit, be for others too.

The most lovely blogging stories - there were examples at the conference - come from when a person communicates their very self on their blog, and then are surprised by love, real concern, real support, real connection, in reply.

The term 'comment love' is very apt.

I felt ashamed not because I took time out from my computer in an overwhelming season of life. I had to do that.

It was because it was so easy for me to forget the women behind the blogs I had followed, including one whose ill husband I had prayed for.

And the kicker? Which I realised with sick guilt at the conference.

I'm not just like this with virtual friends, but with my 'in real life' friends and my family as well.

It's too often out of sight, out of mind with me.

So concerned with my own cares, that I hardly give a thought to anyone else's.

And then, left inside behind the door in my own head, my own small problems seem so big! They fill up the room, and they're all I can see.

I'm not very good at community. But I know it is everything.

Life is better done together. Everything and always.

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  1. Such a lovely post, Marilyn. Was great to see you again. And your bubba is cuteness!!xx

  2. Great post. I am the same. It is so easy to get consumed by our own headspace.

  3. Don't beat yourself up about it. It is almost impossible to keep everything going all the time. You are busy and people do understand. I love getting comments and leaving them, but sometimes it is just very busy and I can't. I guess as long as I come back and make the effort when I can, then I'm doing my best. It's all anyone can do isn't it?

  4. You are indeed right. Some times we wish to walk alone, sorting out life and all. Knowing that someone is doing the same somewhere else indeed is a motivation. We are all in this together, that is what i believe.

  5. Gosh, I didn't even realise that you had been going through some tough times. I too find I turn away from the computer when I am all caught up in my head. Maybe there is a lesson there. Anyway, hope things are coming good for you now, it was lovely to catch up, albeit briefly!

  6. I felt a bit like this at times too. I am a crap commenter (sometimes) but I still hope that others will take the time to write me a line. Everyone is busy but this is a good message for us all. You have to take the time to keep the love alive :)

  7. I'm humbled by your comments! I actually meant to also say something about the actual conference. I guess that's for another post now!

  8. This resonates with me Marilyn. Don't feel guilty.It's natural our own families & lives come first.

    It sounds like you have had enough of your struggles going on. I hope things are easier now.

    It was lovely to catch up with you again and meet that gorgeous boy of yours.

    I can't tell you how much your prayers were appreciated x

  9. You do what you can when it is enjoyable. I'm glad you enjoyed the conference. I wish I could go to the Australian one, in particular. Would love to meet all you lovely ladies that I'm always reading about! Sounds like fun.


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